Captain's Log

This week has still been stressful. The weekend has been encouraging, but I am really not looking forward to going into work tommorow. I need to find a new job.

I've been exhuasted this week, but things are looking alright for today. Still no supply shipment. A friend of mine cancelled plans for tonight, so I'm going to take it easy again to see if that helps. Overall, little in the way of good to report, but I also don't like complaining. I'm having a hard time with the new system I came up with, but I'm going to keep trying at it. Part of the trouble seems to be that some habits of mine are reflexive. I'll have to do some research to see what can be done. It's been raining alot lately, thank goodness. It's been so dry this year that there were barely any apples on the trees near my apartment.

Still tired, but thankfully it seems that today is going to be quiet. My supply shipment is running late, so I have to take things slow so I don't run out of things to do. This is good, because while I did get a lot done this previous weekend, I also didn't get as much rest as I would have liked. An extra break would be good. Still not as much time to get things done, but I'm trying a new system I came up with for improving personal habits which I will elaborate on at a later date. Overall, I am busy in a good way, but also very tired. Expect most entries in here to be short.

It's Friday, thank goodness. I finally have a day off tomorrow. It's been a long week. I've been so tired. It'll be good to get a break.

I haven't been updating as much as I would like because things have been busy with work and at home. I still haven't had time to scan/photograph my art, but I should have at least a litttle time this weekend. Since the weather has been cooling, things are finally slowing down at work. I mostly have to do my best to try not to get caught updating this log at work.

I had an awful nightmare about almost getting shot last night that really disrupted my sleep schedule. It woke me up in the middle of the night, causing me to oversleep and be a bit late for work. At least today is going to be fairly calm.

Short entry today: The supply shipment I've been waiting on came in. Now I can finally start catching up on orders I've been holding. Almost done with site adjustments and cleanup, now I just need to start scanning/photographing my art. All for now, further updates tomorrow.

There isn't really much of note for me to say today. I don't have much in the way of evening plans. Today's a gym day. Work is slow, but I still have to be on the alert in case my boss sees me writing this. I Just don't have much to do until supplies come in. I already finished all of yesterday's work, and we're having to hold so many orders due to lack of supplies that when more orders come in later today, I just won't be able to due a large amount of them because of said lack of supplies. Overall, the day is slow. Little complain about or to discuss, so this log will be short.

Sometimes I find when I have a lot of freetime like this that I don't know what to do with myself. Maybe this is something to think on today. I'm not really upset about it, but it is something that I'm not really sure why it happens, and I think that bothers me.

Further slow progress continues in my efforts to get the gallery working. I have some things to download and a stylesheet to fix up when I get home. I still have some small tweaks to make that I'll probably work on today. I'm also doing pretty well with that lady I mentioned in the previous log.

Another work week. Not a lot to do this morning, so I can do that more extensive log I mentioned yesterday.

As you can see, I swapped out the old cursor for a new one. This took longer than I honestly care to admit, most due to technical diffuculties and things saving to the wrong file type. I also have the gallery code more or less working, but it will take some time for me to get everything I want uploaded here scanned. I also want to clean up the style code a little more and make a few minor tweaks.

I'm debating making separate archives for things like this log and the gallery. I also definetly want to put something on the homepage, mostly to make things look nice. I'm thinking some sort of picture but I'm not sure what yet. More on that another day.

As for the context, here it is:

As I mentioned in yesterday's log, reconnecting with some of my old friends and making some new ones has been really good for my mental health. I've been realizing lately that a lot of people I used to consider my friends weren't that good to me (see yesterday's log about Drew for some of that) and I think that some more instinctive bit of me must have known that for awhile; because I for a long time it's felt like a lot of my friends don't really care about me. But lately, reconnecting with people and actually making friends who seem interested in talking to me and really listening to what I have to say has made me realize just how bad some of those who I once cinsidered friends were. Being alone too much makes a man's standards for what makes a friend poor; he'll just go along with whoever is even the littlest bit nice to him. I understand this a lot better now. Having friends, real friends who have confirmed to me that I was treated badly, and that I wasn't imagining it or complaining too much. Vindication, I think. That's what it is. It's a good feeling to be understood.

I've also had some luck with a lady recently. I met her at the club on Saturday and we've been messaging eachother. We have a lunch date planned for noon on Sunday. I'm already looking forward to it.

While I have gotten some things done today IRL, I haven't had as much time in the day to be as productive as I would like. This is partially due to technical difficulties, but I remain frustrated about it. However, I have made a few important realizations. They are as follows:

• I may have a way to find a way to contact Drew's Parents without my professor
• I don't have to do some of the things I was worry about right away
• I may actually have some friends to count on if need be

Lately, I've been worried about a lot. There's this guy who owes me money named Drew who, months ago, blocked off my only means of communicating with him. I've been trying to find a way to email/contact his parents in order to get my money and an apology. I do not know Drew's last name. Since Drew and I went to school together and worked with the same professor, she should be able to help out with contacting Drew's parents. Unfourtunetly, she's been too busy to do much. However, earlier today, I remembered my old school email. Ths same professor definetly sent emails to both of us. I can use this find Drew's last name and social media to find his parents.If this works, I'm getting my money and my apology.

I've also been stressing alot about things I need to do, and I realized that that isn't really a helpful or logical thing to be doing. I can just do them later. Thank you brain Spock (see the archive about that). I have a real problem with overthinking, but I read recently that is a very common response to trauma. If that is the case, there's a logical reason for why I do that, and I honestly find that very comforting. Things appear a lot less troubling when you can make logical sense of them.

I've also been reconnecting with old friends and making better new ones. It's been wonderful for my mental health. I will elaborate further in tommorow's log.

Been running some errands today and cleaning out my drawers. I'm going to stop by a club tonight and see about seeing a friend of mine. Will work on the site more tomorrow.

Made some further updates to the website. Will probably hunt around to find a different cursor once I get home, as while the current one isn't bad, I think it could be better. I'm gonna work on setting up the gallery a bit today too. Namely, I need to find a good way of displaying images. I'll also likely look for some slightly better backround images and may tweak the colors and such for certain pages. Overall though, I'm pretty satisfied with how I've made things look so far.

Update:

Got the code for the Gallery working, and a lot done at work today. I'll get the code cleaned up as best I can tomorrow and then work on putting some of my actual art in there before I put it up on here. Tonight though, I'm just going to enjoy myself. I've reconnected with an old friend of mine recently, and we're going to meet up for dinner. I'm looking forward to it.

As you can probably see, I've made some adjustments to the appearance of this page. I'm still figuring that out, but THings will adjust as time goes on. CSS is confusing.

I've been reconnecting with some IRL friends lately, and have also had a little time to work my writing. The weather's finally less hot here than it has been lately, so I've been enjoying that too. Work has been a lot. There's more technical problems, and we're having supply problems AGAIN because my boss just won't listen to me and order more when we need it. She says it's a money thing, but she's been saying that since February.

I think I'd like to update the appearance of this page a little bit so it doesn't look like a white void in here. I'll be trying to figure that out, so if it looks different in here soon, that's why. Overall, things are so-so. There's plenty of good stuff happening, but there's also a lot that I'm just not satified with. I'm trying find time for my hobbies, and I think I need a new job, but I have no idea where to start. I've also been trying to put myself out there when it comes to dating, but my luck has been mixed. I'm getting a few people's numbers, but no actual dates just yet. I guess I just have to keep trying. I have a day off soon for Labor Day, which is good. I'm planning on going on a hike with a friend.